Male Pattern Baldness 😱

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

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If you’re reading this then you’re probably one of my dear readers who’s been struck with the misfortune of the silent retreat of what were once loyal strands.
Maybe it started subtly, a few more strands in the shower drain. Then your temples started receding, then the forehead grew…and kept growing. And now, every mirror seems to whisper, “You look like your dad.”

Welcome, friend. Its happened, you’ve entered the glorious club of Male Pattern Hair Loss (MPHL).

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So, what causes this follicular betrayal?

In short: genetics, hormones, and the passage of time.
Specifically, a hormone called DHT (dihydrotestosterone). DHT is basically testosterones mischievous little brother, and is formed when testosterone is converted into DHT by an enzyme called 5-alpha reductase.

Now why isn’t everyone bald if DHT is the root cause of male pattern hair loss because surely everyone produces DHT?
And why is there so much variability in the level of hair loss from person to person?
From those with majestic manes that would make Rapunzel envious, others being halfway to enlightenment, and those with a scalps that scream minimalist.

Well it’s not just because of DHT but it’s to do with the genetic sensitivity of your hair follicles to DHT. And unfortunately some follicles just can’t take the drama 🥺. Some follicles on your scalp (which varies from person to person) have increased sensitivity to DHT. And these are the ones that slowly shrink, until eventually they stop making hair at all!

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Treatment Options: Or, how to fight your scalp’s betrayal

Here’s what’s out there if you’re not ready to join the Chrome Dome Coalition just yet:

• Rosemary oil (topical): One study showed similar hair growth results compared to minoxidil 2%, although Rogaine typically uses higher strength 5% minoxidil which is more effective. But if you wanted to try something which is natural, inexpensive and may help those strands stay on I would definitely consider this.
• Minoxidil (Rogaine): Rub it in twice a day. It’s like a gym membership for your hair: it only works if you’re consistent, and if you stop it’s gonna fall out. It won’t work if your hair follicles have already completely shrunk, so remember to start early if this is the route you wish to take.
• Finasteride: Also known as a 5-alpha reductase inhibitor. A pill that stops testosterone converting to DHT. Can be effective in slowing hair loss. May also cause unwanted side effects like erectile dysfunction.
• Hair transplants: Expensive, but long term and hopefully a permanent solution. Works by harvesting hair on areas of the scalp or other parts of the body that are typically less sensitive to DHT.
• Laser therapy: Enhances hair growth and improve the thickness and fullness of hair. But again won’t help if your hair follicles are completely gone. Need to use several times a week for months. Can be pricey.

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Embracing the Bald:

For those that are fortuned with luck and happen to have a good shaped head, consider just going bald.
Yes. Shave it. Own it. Be free. Embrace your inner Bruce Willis, Jason Statham, or Michael Jordan.

Being bald is liberating:

• You save money on shampoo, haircuts, and existential dread.
• You always look like you meant to do it.
• No more bad hair days. Ever.

There’s a power in saying, “I’m not losing my hair, I’ve ascended beyond it.”

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Final Thoughts

Losing your hair can feel downright terrifying, especially when you’re young, single, and ready to mingle. One day you’re running your fingers through luscious locks and the next Googling, “Do women like men with hat shaped tans?”. But remember this is the 21st Century and where there is a will there is a way!

The world is your oyster and there are a variety of options to gain those luscious locks back. Just one word of advice: if you’re planning to keep the hair, do it early and don’t wait until it’s all gone, because once those follicles clock out, they don’t come back.