The one and only boob truth!
Okay You’re now a 24/7 milk bar with leaky taps. What do you wanna do? Harness the god given benefits or let them dry out? Whether you’re a new mum, a partner trying to be helpful (bless your soul), or just here for the boob jokes – welcome. Let’s milk this topic for all it’s worth. 🍼
1. Your Body, The Dairy Factory
Congratulations! Your body is now a hormone-powered dairy plant. And like all efficient factories, it runs on oxytocin (the love hormone) and prolactin (the “milk me” hormone).
When your baby latches, your brain sends a signal like:
Brain: “Activate boob juice dispenser, stat!”
Body: “Copy that, releasing 4 oz of liquid gold.”
Now whats the science behind this. Well….suckling triggers the release of oxytocin from the pituitary gland (in the brain) and this travels through the bloodstream to the breast, causing the milk producing cells to contract and push the milk into the ducts. The milk then travels through the ducts like water going down the river Nile and voila, conveyor belt on demand milk arrives.
This magic is called the let-down reflex, and yes, it sometimes happens during checkout at your local supermarket when you hear a baby cry that isn’t even yours. Sorry about that.
2. Breastmilk: The OG Superfood
Forget kale. Breastmilk is a custom-blended, immune-boosting, IQ-supporting, always-warm-on-demand miracle elixir. It contains:
- Antibodies (protect against infections whilst your baby’s immune systems still learning how to walk)
- Enzymes (to help digestion when their gut is basically a wet paper bag)
- Fats, proteins, carbs (aka baby’s first meal prep)
- Stem cells: (the OG cells, think Adam and Eve but for cells)
Even weirder: It changes composition during the day. Morning milk = energy latte (contains higher levels of cortisol promoting alertness). Night milk = sleepy-time smoothie (night milk having more melatonin promoting sleep). WHAT KIND OF WITCHCRAFT?!
3. Cluster Feeding: Baby’s Version of Netflix Bingeing
You just fed them. They’re crying again. You feed them again. Repeat every 45 minutes for six hours while questioning all life choices. This, my friends, is cluster feeding, not a sign your milk is “not enough,” but more like your baby placing a bulk Amazon order for future growth spurts.
Science says it helps increase your supply. You say you’re losing your mind. Both can be true.
4. Lower risk of Chronic disease
Did you know that breastfed babies have an unfair advantage and come with a bonus armour expansion pack (for all those gamers out there)
- Obesity – because apparently breast milk knows how to portion-control better than we do at a buffet.
- Type 1 & Type 2 Diabetes – breast milk helps regulate blood sugar
- Asthma & Allergies – especially if exclusively breastfed for 4–6 months. Breast milk practically whispers to the immune system: “Chill out, it’s just pollen.”
5. Mamma gets perks too!
Faster postpartum recovery – Breastfeeding releases oxytocin, which helps your uterus contract back to its pre-baby state. Basically a free ab workout, minus the gym and plus a crying newborn.
Lower risk of breast and ovarian cancer – That’s right. Feeding your baby is also fighting off long-term villains. Your mammaries become mercenaries.
Possible weight loss – Producing milk burns around 500-700 calories a day. That’s like running a 5K without ever leaving the couch.
Natural birth control – Lactational amenorrhoea can delay your period, which is either a blessing or a very confusing time if you forget how biology works. Although if you really don’t want to get pregnant, probably best to add in a bit of those man made contraceptions.
Final Thoughts
If you’re on the fence about breast feeding, don’t be. It’s got a whole host of benefits. Sure it can be tricky sometimes, maybe even a bit embarrassing in public, after all no-one wants that pervert on the bus peaking away 👀.
But remember this is natural and has been something we’ve done from the dawn of human kind, we’ve also got robot miracle workers (thank you lord for those breast pumps 🙏) these days to help you express breast milk to store for socially unacceptable times or when you’re just too tired to feed the old fashioned way.
So to all the milky mamas out there, your milk is a god given gift, so why not use it!