Ah, coffee. The magical potion that transforms grumpy trolls into semi-functioning humans every morning. Without it, offices would collapse, the “big apple” would no longer be the city that never sleeps, civilisation might descend into chaos and we would go to sleep at sensible times.
Why We Love Coffee
Coffee isn’t just a drink it’s a lifestyle. It’s the warm hug in a mug, the excuse for awkward first dates, the reliable sidekick that gets us through those Monday mornings.
Science even backs up our devotion. Studies show coffee is full of antioxidants and may lower the risk of all sorts of scary things.
And businesses know we love it, did you know in 2024 the coffee business was said to have generated about $400 billion globally just in that year! (Note to self I need to open up a coffee business). Marketing is everywhere and word gets round that coffee is as valuable as ambrosia.
The Bright Side of Coffee
- Instant Energy Boost: You go from “don’t talk to me” to “I’m starting a business and learning Spanish today!” in about 15 minutes.
- Focus: That essay you were struggling to write at 1am before the deadline, suddenly becomes a whole lot easier with a bit of caffeine in your system.
- Antioxidant Overload: Coffee is a big source of antioxidants.
- Metabolism Boost: Certain types of coffee (black coffee I am looking at you 👁️) can make your body burn a few extra calories.
- Disease Protection: Studies say coffee may lower risks of diabetes, stroke, and even certain cancers. Basically, your barista is now your healthcare provider.
- Mood Lifter: Bad day? Coffee whispers, “Shhh, you’re fine. You’re funny, attractive, and totally capable of surviving the day.”
- Social Cohesion: Coffee is the universal excuse to hang out. “Let’s grab coffee” = “Let’s talk, but with a socially acceptable distraction in case it’s awkward.”
The Dark Side of Coffee
Of course, our beloved bean juice isn’t perfect. Everything should be taken in moderation. Drink too much and suddenly:
- Anxiety & the Jitters: Drink too much and suddenly even the steadiest of hands become a jittery mess.
- Addiction & Withdrawal: Miss a day? BOOM – headaches, irritability, fatigue and difficulty concentrating. Miss a day after regular use and you’ll see how quickly it owns you.
- Stomach Drama: Coffee is acidic. And that acid can cause those stomach pains known as gastritis.
- Heart Races: One too many cups and your heart is playing drum solos it never signed up for.
- Pregnancy No-No: Pregnant? High coffee intake = risky. It increases the risk of miscarriage, stillbirth, low birth weight. Current NHS guidance says if pregnant you should have less than 200mg a day of caffeine. So what does 200mg look like?
- a mug of filter coffee has around 140mg
- a cup of instant coffee has around 100mg
- a mug of tea has around 70mg
- can of 330ml coca-cola about 33mg
- less than 25mg in a 50g bar of plain dark chocolate
- less than 10mg in a 50g bar of plain milk chocolate
🎭 Final Sip
So there you have it: coffee is both your guardian angel and your chaotic ex. Too little, and it’s useless. Too much, and you’re vibrating through walls. But in moderation? Coffee can make a difference.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to drink my fourth cup and reorganise my sock drawer.